#SonOfAPitch Twitter Pitch Time!

Ready to write the perfect Twitter pitch?

The perfect elevator pitch (sometimes called a Logline), is a 1-2 sentence description of your book that summarizes the main idea for a quick sale. It’s the pitch you use on social media, at cons, at book signings, and that librarians, agents, and editors will use to pitch the book to their audiences. An ideal pitch makes your story sound unique and exciting without being too long.

What You Want To Include:
– Setting
– Description of the protagonist
– The problem to be solved
– Description of the antagonist
– Conflict preventing the problem from being solved
– The ultimate goal

What You Don’t Include:
– Proper nouns (names aren’t relevant)
– Irrelevant personal data (age, height, weight, ethnicity, gender, ect… unless one of these is the main trait of a character- ie 120yo scientist with a key to eternal life)
– Information about the author (unless you are writing nonfic with a platform)
– World building details

Let’s try writing a pitch for Harry Potter…
– Setting – England
– Description of the protagonist – A young boy living with his aunt and uncle
– The problem to be solved – Wants a birthday party and friends
– Description of the antagonist – But has an abusive aunt and uncle
– Conflict preventing the problem from being solved – Who haven’t told him
– The ultimate goal – He’s a really popular wizard!

Twitter Pitch: A young English boy who lives with his abusive aunt and uncle discovers he is a wizard with a destiny! (you can probably do better than this)

 

COMMENTS ARE CLOSED 3-6-17
You may read through the comments but they will not be moderated, and pitches left here will not be workshopped. Thank you for participating in #SonOfAPitch!
If you would like help with your pitch or query, please review my available editing services.

391 thoughts on “#SonOfAPitch Twitter Pitch Time!

  1. Mom’s alcoholism tears her family apart. Her Alzheimer’s brings them back together, but not without a few casualties. #WF #sonofapitch

  2. Is this better?
    A teen’s bff is kidnapped after turning her invisible. She must rescue him to get back to normal and keep his invention out of evil hands.

  3. So after many revisions. Can I get a last minute pair of eyes on this from everyone?

    #SonOfAPitch #A #UF The news says those with Nordic magic are sub-human, but a bold scholar will literally split the sky to prove them wrong

  4. A Miami neurologist falls for an undercover humanoid alien while working to solve numerous linked traumatic brain injuries when her mother is killed and her son kidnapped by an alien foe seeking to destroy her.

    1. I think it may be too wordy as is. Maybe:
      “When her mother is murdered, a Miami neurologist works to solve the mystery of several linked traumatic brain injuries. She falls for an undercover alien when her son is kidnapped by her inhuman foe.”

      But that won’t fit for Son of a Pitch on Twitter…you could cut it to something like this:

      ‪A Miami neurologist works to connect several brain injuries, falling for an undercover alien when her son is kidnapped. #sonofapitch #PNR‬ #A

      ^^^that’s not perfect, but you get the idea.

      1. Works to connect?

        Maybe… works to find the connection between victims? Although that’s wordy too. You’re on the right track though.

        1. How about: “A Miami neurologist falls for an undercover alien while working to stop an outbreak of deaths. Distracted, her mother is killed and her son kidnapped by the evil alien behind the murders.”

  5. When old gods threaten mankind’s last bastion, only a criminal and band of carnies wielding lost druid magic can save the city #SonofaPitch

  6. Here’s a couple of mine (although the second one’s too long):

    1. A disgraced queen uses her skills in swordplay to reclaim her throne after being framed for murdering someone with dark magic #SonOfAPitch

    2. When a disgraced queen is blamed for using dark magic to kill someone, she must use her sword skills in an arena to gain back her throne #SonOfAPitch

    1. Who is the antagonist here? And does she learn swordplay as part of the book or does she know it before?

      1. How’s this?

        After a mage frames her for murder, a disgraced warrior queen must battle in an arena to gain allies & fight for her throne #YA #SonOfAPitch

  7. A lonely teacher has one rule: Don’t date parents. A widowed father makes him want to break the rules and fight for love. #r #lgbt #sonofapitch

    1. Are they actually fighting for this because you could cut off those last 4 words and this would still work.

      1. There’s a few arguments, but nothing comes to blows. I wasn’t sure if ‘break all the rules’ was too cliche to set the stakes.

  8. A teen’s bff is kidnapped for the invisibility pill he invented & she swallowed. She must rescue him to protect his invention & save herself.

    1. Whoa… no. I hot confused on who the protagonist is and who invented what. Is she invisible?

      1. Is this any better?
        A teen’s bff is kidnapped after turning her invisible. She must rescue him to get back to normal and keep his invention out of evil hands.

        1. That’s too long for a twitter pitch. You don’t have room for the hashtags. I get the points of the pitch but let’s try to shorten it just a tad.

          Something like:
          She turns invisible by a pill and her bff is kidnapped. She must save him to keep his invention out of evil hands #sonofapitch #YA

          1. Thank you, Elisa. I didn’t realize the hashtag issue. If I do this, it uses just the right amount of characters and gets a little more across. Better still? I assume &’s are acceptable.

            Girl’s bff turns her invisible & is kidnapped. She must save him to keep his invention from evil hands & to become visible. #sonofapitch #YA

            I appreciate your help!!

    1. This isn’t working for me because I associate succubus with murder anyway. Many of the original myths involved their lover dying in the end. And I don’t know why her duo with the hunter is unlikely (I can guess, but I shouldn’t need to know the genre or the story to make this work).

      You need to bring the antagonist in.

  9. #sonofapitch #sf In cyberpunk Portland, a washed-up hit woman has two months to scrape together enough money before the mob axes her father.

  10. #sonofapitch #mg Hosting a foreign exchange student is the last straw for twelve-year-old Mandy in her struggle not to be the family work-horse, but help comes unwittingly from her difficult grandmother.

    1. Okay, it’s a start. I like the idea but it’s a little muddled.

      Why does Mandy feel like the family workhorse?

      “Help comes unwittingly…” <-- maybe "help arrives unexpectedly in the form of her grumpy grandma."

      1. How about…#sonofapitch #MG Twelve-year-old Amanda struggles to be known as Mandy, but her mother only sees her daughter as someone to cook and clean for her. Life becomes more complicated when the family takes an exchange student who gets mother’s attention instead.

        1. That’s good, but it’s 160 characters over the twitter limit. Let’s try and par it down.

          Look at your setting and antagonist. Is mom the villain, or is her disinterest the problem to be solved?

          1. The story problem is mom’s failure to see that Mandy wants to grow up and her failure to make older sister shoulder some responsibility too. Mandy is tired of doing it all and her relationship with her mom develops into a war. The exchange student complicates the matter.

          2. How does the exchange student complicate things? Does she not help? Does she make more of a mess?

            Why does the big sister get away with not doing chores? What’s Mandy’s relationship with her sister?

            Is there another parent in the house?

          3. That’s a lot to include in the pitch. I appreciate your help. Another try…#MG With a war brewing between Mandy and her mom over what Mandy’s expected to do, having to share her bedroom with a new exchange student is more than she can take.

          4. I am determined! #Sonoma pitch #MG Tired of being the family’s work-horse, Mandy must fight for her identity when her parents host an exchange student, causing more work and less recognition.

        2. #Sonofapitch #MG Tired of being the family’s work-horse, Mandy must fight for her identity when her parents host an exchange student, causing more work and less recognition.

          There ya go! This works!

  11. #sonofapitch #mg Accused of leaving the back gate to the zoo’s chimpanzee enclosure unlocked, nine-year-old Tanner sets out to find a missing rare albino chimp and regain his father’s trust.

    1. SOLD! Although that may be because I have an 8yo boy obsessed with monkeys at my house – apes – he tells me chimps are apes.

      Tell me when I can pre-order this.

    1. A man…is too vague. Who is your mc? How is his blood the key to love and war? I guess I’m not sure of the story.
      And is this #YA #F…?
      Does this man suddenly find a world of war and monsters? Are the strange powers his?

    2. Too vague. Follow the formula.

      – Setting
      – Description of the protagonist
      – The problem to be solved
      – Description of the antagonist
      – Conflict preventing the problem from being solved
      – The ultimate goal

  12. An US man goes to visit Dracula Castle, but falls in love with his host. HEA? Both have secrets & he’ll never find out hers.

    1. Interesting concept. Labeled #R it would probably generate enough interest to get a few page requests.

      If you can, add the the antagonist and problem. “Both have secrets” is a little vague.

      1. He died before he found out her secret. When she found out his, she wanted to go back home. How should I do that?

        1. I like this too. It’s concise, yet gets the point across. Now why can’t I do that with my pitch?

          1. Because you haven’t rewritten yours a few million times yet? Trust me, practice makes perfect.

  13. Okay, I’m re-posting (and working on replies to others): What do you think about ‘would-be’? used in this pitch? Yay or nay? Thanks.

    #sonofapitch #YA Self-harmer learns her dead parents proved a famous math theorem. She must find the proof before a would-be thief does.

    1. That works to intrigue me. I’d like to see a little but more about the stakes and why self-harm factors into the story.

      1. Okay, how about if I say:
        #sonofapitch #ya Troubled teen learns her dead parents proved a famous math theorem. She must find the proof before a would-be thief does.

        The stakes are that this would-be thief will take the credit and prize money awarded to the person or persons who correctly prove the theorem.

        Thanks

        1. A troubled teens future relies publishing her dead parents’ math theorem before a thief does.

          …. um, okay… is she going to hunt down the thief or rework the theorem?

          1. She needs to find it and send it off to a mathematical institute who is offering $1 million to anyone who proves one of seven so-called millennium problems. She has been sent a letter from The Clay Institute of Mathematics advising her that her parents likely proved this one theorem but kept it locked away. My mc discovers an old friend of her father’s holds a grudge against him and wants to find the proof and submit it, taking credit for all of her parents hard work. And yes, she is a troubled, depressed teen whose only relief to her overwhelming anxiety and depression(which she suffered even before her parents’ deaths) is to cut herself. Or run long distances. One healthy, one very dangerous and unhealthy. This is what I need to fit into 140 characters!

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