Every time I try to respond to the comments on my self-esteem post, I tear up. You are, by far, the most wonderful friends, readers, and blog followers a person could have. Your advice is invaluable. Your encouragement is inspiring. I'm lucky to know each and every one of you, even if it is just a casual internet acquaintance.
I'm taking your advice to heart. I'm trying to find me... not in the sense of a spiritual quest, but a search to identify what I love about myself. Someone said I was grieving for my youth, she was right. the decade between twenty and thirty was full of changes, tough times, and endless moves. That decade brought seven moves, four children, two dogs, and a career change.
Thirty is where I start over. I have a clean slate. I have a stable home life with a loving husband, four wonderful children, and the one giant puppy. I have an emerging career as an author. I'm not moving for at least a year. Right now I have a situation that's custom made for nothing but writing (because this ancient laptop really can't do anything else!).
This may not be the life I envisioned at eighteen, or even at twenty-five, but it's a good life. I'm happy.
I'm learning how to be happy without any -er or -est or praise from outside. I'm learning to take pride and pleasure in something done well even if there is no applause. I'm relearning what matters not to the world, but to me. I'm setting my own standards, and learning to ignore the barage of media.
So much of this is because of you. Your wisdom, your examples, your advice is helping me. Thank you.